LUMA'S SCRIBBLES

what the heart wants

2011-01-18T12:39:00.002+08:00

doing what ur heart really wants is important
like choosing what to do later in the future
like me before, i chose to study engineering in curtin bkoz i didnt wanna go far
but i failed half of my subjects and ended up wasting money and my time
so now im doing what i love
Multimedia design in Swinburne
i always wnted to be an animator
make cartoons and animate them
it brings me joy when audiences gv positive responds to my work
maybe soon later in life, i'll be animating cartoons alongside Tim Burton
. . . . . . . . .
luma

For You

2011-01-17T22:44:00.002+08:00

This is for you

To whom I declare my beau

We've been together for 2 years

But it seems like it was just yesterday

When I blurted out my feelings

Imagine the hours we've spent

No money can buy those kind of memories

U treat me like a princess

and u go along with all my silliness

Even if I acted like an ass

Every seconds ticking by

Even if the ocean goes dry

I promise I won't ever let our love die

Not ever again and i know we'll get by

I'll keep u under my wings and fly

Some people don't like us together

Every time they try, it makes us stronger

They have no idea our hearts shines brighter

Than their minds which are getting sicker!

I'll always pray for them so they'll be better

This if for you

My only one, you

Our love is beautiful

A collision of two different worlds

Special and one of a kind

. . . . . . . . . .

luma

He is a genius

2011-01-17T22:23:00.003+08:00

i believe everything in this world happens for a reason.

why God gave some people the ability to be great and some people to be losers.

why God made some of us poor and some of us filthy rich.

who knows us better if not our own Father in Heaven.

He sees our future way before we do.

We plan, He makes it a reality.

Like what my lil brother says, HOPE.

Which means; Happens Only if Prayer is Enough.

Everything happens with a purpose.

It leads to many ends.

It depends on the choice u make in the beginning of the line.

With everything we plan it must comes with faith and prayer for God's guidance.

. . . . . . . . . .

at this moment, family is everything.

but family can also be the cause of a destruction.

we just try to hold on and stick with each other.

looking forward to what might happen and what God has actually planned for us.

its scary at times but we must not look back.

its always positive to look forward even how bad the circumstances might be.

to me, my family; mama, my brothers and my heart is very important to me now.

we count on each other for support.

we cannot abandon each other.

we are a team and we always look out for each other.

who ever tries to hurt one of us, its war.

i hope God guide my family through this tornado.

may He give us courage and strength to move on.

help us open our eyes to the greener side of the field.

open our hearts to receive and give chances.

. . . . . . . . .

luma

feelings

2010-09-04T00:29:00.002+08:00

what i'm feeling now may just be FEELINGS..
but i'm not sure to trust these feelings...
what i'm feeling right now is betrayed, cheated, paranoid, sad, tears are just hanging by the corner of my eyes...
could it be that i'm just lonely?
could it be that i've used to mingle there and not here?
goodness...
i'm never like this..
never used to be like this..
i used to be sensible and i believe in loyalty..
now, it just seemed that every word is a lie..
what should i do?
how is the best way to deal with this?
i don't want things to go out of control than i know the truth...
even if the truth is revealed..
how sure am i that it is not just another lie?
these days lies are often told than the truth..
it is fond by majority of people..
white lies? its also a lie..
i don't believe if its a lie for something good..
a lie is a lie..
no difference..
how i wish i have the ability to read minds and hearts..
so i would if my feelings are true or i'm just being paranoid..
damn..
i am confused.. hmmm

not even will do us part.

2010-06-23T03:55:00.004+08:00

Lying down in your arms,
I never wanna get up,
I just wanna feel you close to me,
Play and tease your hair,

Cuddle up on your couch,
Watch our favorite movie on TV,
Tickle my feet with yours,
Kiss my forehead and tell me you love me,

I let you go before,
I was filled up with jealousy and anger,
I was suffering inside & reached a point where i hate you,
But deep inside I missed you & baby I need you,

I want you baby,
I need you every now and then,
You mean so much to me,
I'm never gonna let you go again,

I'm thankful that you came back,
I'm thankful for what you've did,
I'm thankful that He opened my heart again,
I'm grateful we are together once more,

Every night before I close my eyes,
I bow down my head and pray,
That every morning when I wake up,
You'll be there lying next to me,

I promise you this,
You have my heart,
You have my soul,
I love you & I'll never let you go,

I can't do this alone baby,
Please promise to me too,
You'll never let me go,
That we'll be together forever,

Lets make a solemn vow,
Never to leave each other's side,
I'm yours baby,
Not even death will do us part.

I love you.

Dedicated to Busi Busi.

don't let me do this alone

2010-06-17T13:15:00.001+08:00

hmmm... i don't know.. i just... hmmm.. i just feel so empty inside...

Just appreciate.

2010-05-10T16:33:00.005+08:00

this month has been an eye opening month for me.. other than being admitted into Kuching Specialist for kidney infection for 5 torturing and suffering days, i've learned that in life things are unpredictable and cruel and amazing at the same time.. overall its a fucking mess.. what we can do to make life a lil bit easier is to just appreciate.. appreciate what u have.. now i appreciate my kidneys more! dnt always be whining and complaining about the things u dont hv.. it doesnt matter.. material or people.. but most importantly what and who u should appreciate in ur life are the people who loves u.. these are the people u shud not ever ever ever ever forget to tell them u love them or u miss them or u r thinking about them.. ok.. if u dont know who these people are, let me gve u a hint.. ok, this people who u shud appreciate are that, they are always there;
1) when u r healthy or sick
2) when u r happy or sad
3) when there is a need for a punching bag
4) when u r being an asshole
5) when the world turn its back on u...
sound familiar? well, to me, these people are my family.. the blood which is running through my veins.. which keeps my heart beating for 20 long years..
bk0z life is unpredictable.. u never know when they will be taken away from u forever.. dont wait till its too late to tell smeone u love dat u care for them and how much they really mean to u..

Appreciate what u have

2010-05-10T16:33:00.000+08:00

Home

2010-04-24T02:03:00.002+08:00

Tik tik tok tik tik tok
the sound of the clock
the time is moving
but kinda disturbing
its so darn slow i cant tolerate
it makes my heart ache
im impatient for the soon to come
it makes me wanna drown
i want to feel the familiar breeze
the feeling so genuine my happiness increase
the familiar arms that take me in n hug me close
who never left me alone behind close doors
home here i come in 2 hours time
soon i'll be there by the clock strikes nine
dont be late coz i missed my roots
also coz i cant stand anymore in these boots
i dont need no flowers neither do presents
jz be there for me i don't want absents
can't wait for the familiar smile who wears no mask
from the person who loves me without questions asked
home home home my sweet sweet home
even when i'm far away i am never alone
see you when i see you
we do have a lot of catching up to do... ;-)

FINALLY!!

2010-04-22T23:26:00.002+08:00

ok.. imagine having to wait for like almost a month for something when u knw u hv everything ready! damn im sooooo darn happy!! XD i wud like to thank Daddy n Mama for making this possible... n to a special person who is ready to run up n down for me.. n for diz thing i hv been die-ing to posses n lay my hands on.... :)

Memories which can't be erased!

2010-02-18T23:38:00.000+08:00

Out and about wid my bestfriends these 2 days

Carol, Fabian & Sin Tiew

Well, dats just 1 out of 3 of our group

most of them are probably busy or not around

1st day, we went to visit 7 houses!!

imagine.. 7 houses in a day..

goodness!

can u spot me? haha

and the 2nd day, we visited the crocodile farm

its been long since i went there

and we also went to marina bay n other places too!

mmmm~ so fun...

jz being wid friends n having fun...

these type of friends cannot be replaced...

and memories which cant be erased...

love dem to bits!

Sunday.V-day.CNY

2010-02-15T01:30:00.003+08:00

Its Sunday

Its V-day

Its CNY

I'm wearing RED! :D

dressed for the occasion...

except for the cap

it was in the shop, it looked cute so i tried it on and snap a pict! :D
Went to church around 11am..

den went to walk around in Parkson...

lots of flowers n teddies for sale~

cute cute ones...

Awww~

den bought an LV sling bag!! love it to bits!

den cme bck home

watched thailand horror movie

den nw im afraid to sleep alone! haha

oh well.. dats hw i spent my Sunday..

happy V-day ppl~

tke cre n gdnyte!

Valentine's Special : Babyface ft De'sree - Fire

2010-02-11T21:50:00.000+08:00

Youre riding in my car
I turn on the radio
Im pulling you closer
But you keep tellin me no
You say you dont like it
But I know youre a liar
cause when we kiss
Ooh...

Fire

Late at night
Youre taking me home
You say you wanna stay
But I want you to go
Say I dont love you
But you know Im a liar
cause when we kiss
Ooh...

Fire

You had a hold on me right from the start
A grip so tight I couldnt tear it apart
My nerves all jumpin actin like a fool
Your kisses might burn
But my heart stays cool

Were Romeo and Juliet
Sampson and Delilah
Baby you can bet
They were burnin with desire
If I say split
Then you know that Id be lying
cause when we kiss
Ooh...

Fire

When we kiss
Im on fire
Your tenderness
Gives me desire
I cant resist
Your tender lips
When we kiss
Ooh...

Fire

When we kiss
Im on fire
Your tenderness
Gives me desire
I cant resist
Your tender lips
When we kiss
Ooh...

Fire

Fairytale Endings

2010-02-10T21:16:00.004+08:00

When I was 6

I used to think love was like Cinderella's

Impossible but yet her dreams came true

Watched Snow White since I was 1

Fascinated and amazed

By how true love kiss can bring a girl back to life

My real journey started when I was 15

When I got my first kiss in the back seat of a car

I was scared but it felt heavenly

I feel like the world was mine

Soon it came crashing down like hard bricks

When I knew he wasn't that into me

I stopped believing in fairytale endings

The very first time I shed a tear because of love

He caught my attention

When he picked me up from an emotional breakdown

He dusted me and bring me back to life

Been in an on off relationship with him

Like a switch on a cracked wall

leading to a ticking bomb

It finally blew up when I caught him cheating on me

Putting Joy's number under a boy's name

I stopped believing in fairytale endings

The very first time I shed a tear because of love

He was funny and smells great

He was my girlfriend's bestfriend

We met the 1st time at the benches

I can't stop thinking about him

We became friends and talked all night

When we are far from each other

We miss the company

There is when I knew I was in love with him

But wishes never come true

Always breaking the promises he makes

I got tired

I can't stand it

I stopped believing in fairytale endings

The very first time I shed a tear because of love

It's not wrong to believe in fairytale endings

Just remember to apply it to the real world

Be in love but always be rational

Go crazy but keep your sanity

To me fairytale endings are best told in books

Not in real life

Relationship is like teeth!

2010-02-10T15:23:00.002+08:00

here is my weird methodology about relationships...

mmmmm....

relationship is kinda like teeth..

if u don't take good care of a relationship...

it will go hair wire...

likeeeee teeth..

if u don't brush it and clean and tke care of it...

u'll have cavities!

when u don't pay attention to ur shaky relationship

it'll soon break down slowwwwwly~

also like teeth...

when u don't pay attention the holes in ur teeth

and jz let it be

it will pain like hell and it'll rot! worst than migrain!

when it rots and can't be save...

not even root canal or wadever surgery...

same goes to ur relationship...

u hv to yank it out and its over for u and ur damn teeth!

fake teeth? mmmmmm.... sounds like a second chance....

second chance are like ticking bombs...

so better take good care of wad u hv...

don't go spoil it...

don't tke anything for granted...

appreciate wad u hv and love it wid all ur heart...

Plastered My Broken Heart With a Plastic Smile

2010-02-10T13:16:00.003+08:00

here is a story u can feast on

two love story which is long gone

both different tale but similar tingling vibe

sit down and sink your teeth in 1/4 of my life

here goes the 1st tale

met him at this bbq

we shared the love for cats

he looked so great with his dudes

girl, the kind of feeling when you spot the perfect dress

u know what i mean

i'll let u figure out the rest

we text he called everyday

never get bored even when he just called to say hye

my bff Jue told me i was in love

coz she saw me dancing like a fool

laughing and giggling to myself though it ain't cool

i was happy soooo on cloud 7 8 9

told me he misses me

told me he loved me

asked me on a date i'll never forget

met up in town

when i saw him in the distance

i felt like my whole world was turned upside down

went to the movies for our 1st date

showed off his left dimple

pinch him on his tummy which made him twitched

had a principal of my own

"I never kiss a guy on the first date"

it just felt so right

i gave in, lean back in his arms

it felt divine

i never wanted the date to be over

he gave me a kiss on the hand

waved goodbye and gone from my sight

it was our 1st and our last

it didn't last long like how i expected

2 3 weeks passed

in a blink of an eye all the love turned to dust

i was heart broken all inside out

since then no one can sweep me off my feet

i can feel my whole body crumbles

damn, i was broken

ready for my 2nd story?

it happened recently

but my feelings for him was forever

French called it Noel

An alternative word for Christmas

Never thought I could ever have this feeling for him again

Liked him since the 1st time i saw him

Was young by then

Thought it was just a childhood crush

Seriously, i never thought i liked him this way

A feeling i recognize

The feeling that was long gone

Which i thought was lost for good

He told me he was insecure

Told him he has everything

He has nothing be be afraid of

Had our moments

I'd do anything and everything to see him

Hugged him at the strike 0f new year just to feel him near

Dyed his hair just to touch his hair

I'd give in everything for him

But I guess I wasn't his type

Should I just forget him

and let this thought slide?

The way I see things

It is not meant to be

Maybe God has much better plan for me

But all the things he does is so sweet

They blow me away, sweep me off my feet

Damn, he was a real treat

Now you see

I do get hurt as much as u

I'd take it all in and hold it in

Take it as a compass to my next journey

Further into the future

My life is full of agony

Just that I swallow it all in and cover it all up

Plastered my broken heart with a plastic smile

Used to act tough

But now I really am

Thank you for the pain

Now I've gained

Something precious even money can't buy

Something so rare not even written in books

Last night, I sat in my room

Thinking

Confused

The tears i've cried

The angers that i've screamed

Enough!

I'm done

Everyday is Valentine's Day

2010-02-09T22:17:00.002+08:00

Days are flying

Streets are lined up with flower booths

In the spirit for Saint Valentines Day

If Valentine's was only on the 14th

Then there is no love the whole year except for February

V-day is to celebrate affection and love between intimate companions

but to me

V-day is to celebrate affection and love with all the people u care..

not only between intimate companions..

Scratch that if u will!

So, don't get all down and blue if u dont hv a date

or not receiving a heart shaped box

or a bouquet of roses

Just get up on ur ass

Pick up the phone

Plan a day out wid some ur friends

Who doesnt seem to have a date too...

Cheer up!

U can hv a date anytime other than V-day

V-day is just like other normal days

Just that u see couples around

Wearing the same coloured tops

and a bouquet of flower in a lady's arm

maybe the 1st time u see a guy looking so clean and sleek! ;)

Happy Valentine's Day people!

Don't forget to tell those people u care about that

YOU LOVE THEM!

hug them

kiss them

be extra nice (alwys be extra nice)

be sweet and maybe give some sweets!

Take Care ppl...

Lots of Love,

Daphne

What got me go.. Awwwwwwwwww~

2010-02-09T12:38:00.003+08:00

Went to Betty's pet shop earlier today

to buy Lakin's & Loki's food..

n I saw the cutest thing..

a maltese mix shih tzu pup!! goodness me....

she was so adorable..

so tiny....

well this is not the actual pup i saw...

bt it looked like diz..

looooook at dat face...

gggrrrr!~

im in loveee~

i gotta hav diz lil baby...

i dnt care hw..

wadever it is...

i will have this adorable angel~

Pay my broken heart with your sufferings

2010-02-09T00:58:00.003+08:00

Clock is ticking

Glanced over at my bedside alarm clock

I sigh heavily

Wishing that the left side of my bed wasn't empty

Dust covering

Spiders having awesome parties next to me

Creepy I know

Lonely for sure

There is nothing I can do

You did what you did
I forgive you

But I can't love you

Tried, still I can't

I don't lick what I've spat

A broken vase cannot be perfect

Marks and dent everywhere

Hard as corals

but soft as wool

Rebellious as the monsoon

but soft as the morning breeze

That's who I am

I'm easy to please but hard to give out trust

Once broken considered sold

Pay my broken heart with your sufferings

I just can't love you anymore.

C'est La Vie

2010-02-08T13:18:00.003+08:00

Waking up to the sounds of disturbed heart

Sat up at the edge of my bed for 5 minutes

Wondering why life is difficult

Its full of mystery and its a jigsaw puzzle

Nothing ever turns out to be how u want it to be

It either turn out to be bad

or if u are lucky

It might turn out to be how u wished it would be

C'est la vie said Uncle Mike

Qui, je sais says I

Frankly, I haven't have a clue why it is like that

I wonder how life is if its easy

Well, here is what i think it would be

It'll be boring

No excitement

So predictable

U jz know what is going to happen round the next corner

Everyone is the same!

PREDICTABILITY

Jeez.. It'll be sooo damn boring

So I am thankful for my life

I've been through sad times n happy times

Sweet love and breakups

Loyalty and betrayals

Met so many good people and not so pleasent ones

This has taught me a lot about how real life would be

No more fairytales or happy endings

U cant have everything u want like wad u did wid ur doll house

Life is a mystery

Gotta be careful and think before u leap

Or u'll end up behind the wrong door.

Troubled

2010-02-07T20:33:00.003+08:00

damn...

seriously i feel like hell...

so many things in my head...

n in my heart...

nothing seemed to be possible..

all i need now is Him...

i can feel myself breaking down piece by piece...

i am strong... tough like corals...

but sometimes i get tired...

wen i get tired, i jz break down...

slowly gone...

nothing seemed to be right...

i hope this is only the beginning of the year...

and soon it'll be owkey...

dealing wid all types of shit..

from inside the house and outside!

fuck!!!!

the world is really giving me lemons..

i bet dey r planting lemon trees for me...

i alrdy hv a lot in my basket...

n i hvnt found all the ingredients to turn it all into lemonades...

goodness me...

God, help me...

1st Post for 2010

2010-02-07T19:43:00.002+08:00

happy new year!!~ 2010...

oh well.. its february... haha too late for that...

i jz remembered i had a blog...

its jz a place for me to let out somethings i cnt do in life..

mmmmm well not really...

hahah.. jz some nonsense dat i would love the world to gossip about... :D:D

owkey.. my year started awesome!!

did things i never thought i had the guts too...

likeeeeeee..... killing a cockcroach wid my bare feet... euw!

dat i still cnt get over it...

hahaha...

broke up wid my bf....

n i've been single for like a month n 5 days...

seriously, honestly, the longest ive been single is for jz 2-3 days?

i dnt like to get lonely...

i love being loved n love to love..!~ dats me....

bt den now, i jz feel like taking a verrrryy loooooooong break from giving out love...

i jz want to love myslf...

bk0z i feel like i hvnt been able to do so for a long time....

what i found out about being single is dat i hv a lot of advantages...

1. i can do wadever i wnt without hurting anybody..

2. i dont hv to worry about other ppl's needs except for my family's

3. i dnt hv to check my phone everytime for texts..!

4. this doesnt seem to change though, my bills are still sky high.. haha weird...

but to be honest

being single is hard..

for me dat is...

i am a vry passionate person n i love to be sweet~

i love to mke ppl happy... especially d ones i love...

n i especially love to be hug!! i loveeeeee hugs!

hahaha....

on the bright side...

i still hv my friends.. i can always love dem..

.i can always hug dem....

wadever happens in my life...

i'll always know i hv my friends and family...

i love them so much...!

wad the heck...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!!

HAPPY CHINESSE NEW YEAR!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY...

Wid love,

Daphne

How time flys~

2009-12-03T09:27:00.002+08:00

phewww...

look out ppl...

time is flying fffffaaaaaaaassstttt...!!

hang on to ur seats or to a lamp post or something...

or u'll look something like diz!

ahaaa~ i ain't kiddin'

this is hw i look like wen i didnt realise hw the fucking time jz pass by in a matter of seconds..

so, appreciate time and the ones u love...

cherish every moment and every chance u get...

coz there ain't gonna be chance which is gud like the 1st...

i hope this 3 months flys fast like this year..

coz i miss him like crazy alrdy..

end up disappointed..

2009-10-25T22:26:00.002+08:00

i dnt noe.. sometimes i feel like i don't matter that much.. almost everytime we meet nw, i feel disappointed.. i dnt noe y... eventhough he has helped me so much financially.. but then its still not enuf.. im not trying to be a brat but what is not enuf is his attention.. i dnt gv a shit about the money or wadever shit he buys me.. i jz want his attention! everytime we r together, there is must be something.. there is always something comes up..! i dnt noe.. maybe i dnt show him much love or attention.. but.. i m trying my best.. i always mke sure that he is happy... give him wad he wnts... i dnt noe.. but i feel like i dnt matter that much to him... dats hw i feel.. n dats from my point of view.. i dnt know about from his point of view.. i am trying everything i can to do to get his attention and spend time wid him before i go bck miri for my 3 months holiday.. bk0z wen the holiday starts, it'll be 3 months i won't get to c him.. dats hard 4 me... i love him wid all my heart. and i try my very best to let him noe dat i do... but stil i feel it isnt enuf.. hmmmm....

gotta get things done!

2009-10-09T09:48:00.003+08:00

dammit man.... i havnt done much for my course... shit shit shit.. packaging for design studies is due next week.. TUESDAY!!! n i hvnt even confirm d design and print it out... goodness me.... perghhh.. den i hv 11 interior drawing... den i hv 9 drawings for mr.greg's klaz due the week after next week.. shit man.. den i hv another assignmnt coming up for graphic design.. dammit!!! i gotta get things done.. if not... im really in deep shit! oh ya.. englisshhh... fuck man! i m all packed.. help me~ :(

day and night..

2009-10-08T21:20:00.002+08:00

day and night..

its different...

the colors...

the situation and the environment...

the feelings u feel wen its day light its more to fun and cheerful..

but night...

u'll feel scared, alone and lonely wen u hv no one...

hmmm...

dats hw i feel wen its night time...

i hv no friends to hang out with...

n life is so much harder..

i cry most of the time...

but i try to stay stronger...

i noe the reason y i m away...

to have a bright future...

hmmm...

but how can have a bright future...

wen its dark, she loses her grip...

and fall into the darkness...

hmmm...

day and night...

even the stars are having more fun than me...

wad m i gonna do?

life is hard wen u r alone...

alone in ur room..

staring at nothing...

its scary...

will i also live this way wen im old?

damn...

it scares me...

day and night...

two different views...

so contrast with each other...

Please, i beg you..

2009-10-05T21:11:00.004+08:00

my head is pounding,

my hands are cold,

tears are rolling down my cheeks,

my eyes are red,

my knees are weak,

the feeling of hatred keeps coming,

why does this happen to me?

what did i do wrong?

i am not perfect,

only God Himself is whole and perfect,

please don't let this love fade away,

i am starting to feel the emptiness,

the loneliness and alone,

it feels so dark on my side,

i wish i could go back to the place where it used to be bright,

hmmm....

i keep on sighing every second i think of it,

this heart couldn't take it any longer,

my tears are getting dry,

my lips are tired of calling out your name,

please tell me this is gonna stop,

tell me that you are gonna change,

please i beg you bring me back into the light,

i don't want to be in the dark anymore,

i suffer,

i feel alone and lonely,

come back please,

don't leave me alone,

stop these tears,

stop all this before it fades away completely,

i don't want it to go,

it felt so wonderful when it flows through my veins,

i wanna taste it again,

i love how it feels when everything is okey,

i love how love feels,

its wonderful and painful at the same time,

i'll risk it all for just that wonderful feeling again,

please bring it back,

i don't want to feel the pain,

it hurts it pierce deep into my heart,

please please please i beg you...

leave wad is mine alone..!

2009-10-05T20:55:00.003+08:00

i dnt noe wads going on.. my body and soul is aching.. i feel like letting go.. i cant anymore.. my hands are shaking wen i think of it.. is it so hard to have sme1 i 1 just for my own?!?!?! for as long as i can rmmbr, all my life, there is always sme1 else who also wants wad i hv.. y can't dey just leave me alone in peace..?????? wad do dey wnt me to do??? act like a dog n piss to mark my territory???? fuck off! get your own.. y mess wid mine???????? everyone has a limit.. wen it has jumped over the fucking limit.. u will not want to live anymore.. u will regret the fucking day u were born! i dnt noe wad dey call this.. teenage problem or wad ever shit u call it.. but this is too much!! this is bullshit..!! seriously, bullshit..!! i have my rights.. i have my every motherfuckin' rights ok?!

fuck wad in the world do u dnt understand?! wad is mine is mine! put fucked up self in my shoes, how wud u feel wen ppl are all over wads urs?!?! if u r happy about it, u must be out of ur fucking mind! u r fucking crazy! everyone has their limits.. i have a limit.. i keep it in till it reaches boils and ready to burst..! wen it does, i'll be cruel beyond anything u can imagine!!!!

don't drift away..

2009-09-29T17:37:00.004+08:00

days go by,

just in a blink of an eye,

sitting here wondering what the future may bring,

will it be sufferings?

or you'll give me a diamond ring,

i don't have a clue why my heart feels this way,

its only beating for you i swear,

i guess that is the reason why,

when you are away don't you know my heart cries?

my heart's tears could break down a dam,

can't you hear my heart calling out your name?

my head feels heavy,

everytime you leave,

i always want you here with me,

i just can't get enough of you,

can't you see?

what can i do to make you stay?

take my favorite plushie if you may,

if it could make you stay,

do you want the moon?

i'll tie a rope around it and pull it down for you,

i'll even go on the back of a wild stallion or a killer whale for you,

nothing is impossible when it comes to you,

baby, hear my heart screams for you,

can't you see its turning red to blue??

sweetheart, i miss you,

all those times when we used to spend till the night turns yellow,

i miss those moments,

where nothing and no one can make it go to an end,

love, hear my pain,

you are the blood that runs through my veins,

if there are mistakes that i've done,

please forgive me don't go away don't be gone,

you are the one who keeps me alive,

please don't drift away 'cos it'll end my life..

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

the cries of a lonely heart..

...

2009-09-09T21:18:00.000+08:00

im jz hurt.. im very very hurt..

Lord, guide me..

2009-08-23T21:21:00.002+08:00

sometimes i just don't have any idea wad is going on wid my life.. i hv no real friends.. i hv friends bt they embarrass me.. or use me as a jumping stone to get the type of reputation dey want.. i should hv listen to my mum about leaving far away from the ones who truly love u n is ur friend no matter wad, my family.. sometimes i regret packing up my bags n get on that plane to come study 14 hours drive away from my hometown... when things get fucked up like my situation nw, i often feel like packing up my bags and head home.. bt come to think of it again, this is life... wadever hardship and difficulties comes by my way... i jz hv to go through it.. if not now, den when will it be?

there is never a right time for this.. i jz pray to God that he'll guide me through all this and gv me the strength and the opportunity to be courages and stand on my own two feet...

Poems i've written for him...

2009-08-10T21:35:00.003+08:00

date: 10/08/09
sweetheart,
you make me smile and laugh with joy,
without a doubt,
you are the one who bright up my days,
when far away from you,
my heart doesn't seem to be at its best,
when you are in my arms,
i only see us in this world,
never hurt me baby,
for i will hurt myself more,
always love me baby,
for i swear i'll be yours till the end of time..

Love,
DKLuma, ur baby girl...

date: 21/06/09
You woke me from a deep sleep.
and complete my life with your love so deep.
When we look into each others eyes,
I see the reflection of our love.
I kept thinking to myself,
could it be you are an angel sent from above?
When I am with you,
my heart skips a beat.
My feelings for you I can't deny.
You treat me like a princess.
Showering me with your sweet and genuine love all over me.
The first time,
When I saw you bitting your lip and anxiously trying to kiss me,
I debate in my mind whether or not I should let you have me.
But now I am sure.
When I say be mine,
Please say that it will be forever.
When I hear u calling me sweetheart,
It makes my knees weak and breathing becomes hard.
My love for you is real and not fake.
Don't you know I love the fact,
That you love me for everything that I am.

With Love,
Daphne muah ♥

date: 17/02/09
d 1st time i caught ur eye,
i jz smile n cant stop staring at u,
wen d nyte was over n u said bye,
den i realise i cnt stop thinking of u,
wen d day dat u bcame mine,
not even words can describe how hepy i was,
wen 2 hearts bcme 1 n combine,
i knew u r d 1 i nvr wanna lose.

muahx.muahx.muahx.
i love u habibi...
wid all my heart..

..................................................................
just something i create to show my baby boy how much he means to me...
our love has now reached 6 months and 11 days..
n my love for him grows stronger and the bond we build is unbreakable..
but then with all these words....
i can't seem to feel satisfied....
i still feel that words can't describe how i feel 'bout my hubby....
i love him so much...
more than words can say...

2nd Semester of Foundation Design

2009-08-10T16:04:00.002+08:00

weehaa..~ can't bliv i m in 2nd sem of design.. yeay!

1st sem wasn't actually dat easy...

it is tough wen u dnt study, quite easy wen u read n understand n apply it..

went to my 2 first classes today...

Drawing and Illustration who is taught by Greg..

And Graphic Design by Micheal Lee...

these 2 subs, need like zillions of tools!

haha.. not actuallly zillions...

bt a lot of tools...

charcoal pencil, sketch diary, mount spray, etc..

n dey cost a lot of money..!!

my God...

i only hv budget of RM200/- to buy the stuff...

i hope it is enough..

Happy fathers' day, Daddy!

2009-06-21T13:22:00.002+08:00

i would like to wish happy fathers' day to my dad...

n thank him for all the luxury he has given me for this 19 years...

n i would also like to ask for forgiveness for all the times ive hurt him without even knowing...

he is the best dad a daughter could ever ask for...

n i wish him a long life and have success in whatever he is doing...

i know i don't say diz much but...

i love u, daddy..

n i miss u..

Love,

Ninie

Our 5th month anniversary!

2009-06-21T13:18:00.001+08:00

today is my hubby n i 5th month anniversary!~

im so happy...

i know its not yet a very long journey for our lovee..

but i felt like we hv gone through a lot together..

n i wish for more of dat..

it doesn't matter happy or sad times...

i still wanna hv it wid him.. only him...

i love him so much..

n i hope dat we will hv more than 100 years of anniversry...

i love diz song so much..

2009-06-04T13:24:00.003+08:00

a very beautiful song.. hear it for urself and read the lyrics...

it made me wanna cry...

bk0z i miss home and my parents..

to me is a very beautiful song for a lulaby...

http://www.imeem.com/mp3dloads/music/DBsmL-Jp/miley-cyrus-billy-ray-cyrus-butterfly-fly-away-live-from/

Butterfly Fly Away

Miley Cyrus ft Billy Ray Cyrus

u tuck me in

turn out the light

keep me safe n sound at night

little girls depend on things like dat

brush my teeth n comb my hair

had to drive me everywhere

u were always there wen i looked back

you had to do it alone

make a livin', make a home

must have been hard as it could be

and when couldn't sleep at night

scared things wouldn't turn out right

u held my hand and sang to me

caterpillar in the tree

how u wonder who u'll be?

can't go far bt u can always dream

wish u may n wish u might

don't u worry hold on tight

i promise u there will come a day

butterfly fly away

butterfly fly away (butterfly fly away)

catch ur wing now u cnt stay

take those dreams and mke dem all cme true

butterfly fly away (butterfly fly away)

we been waiting for this day

all along and know jz wad to do

butterfly butterfly butterfly

butterfly fly away

My favorite song! :D i dd8 it to sme1 whom i used to love so much..

2009-05-29T14:45:00.001+08:00

Ronan Keating

"Last Thing On My Mind"

(feat. LeAnn Rimes)

Four o’clock in the morning

My mind’s filled with a thousand thoughts of you

How you left me without a warning

But looking back I’m sure you tried to talk it through

Now I say it so clearly

We have been together but living separate lives

So, I wanna tell you I’m sorry

Baby, I can’t find the words

But, if I could

Than you know I would, yeahhhhhh

No, I won’t let go

No why we can be

I won't watch my life crashing down on me

As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh

Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind

You carried me like a river

How far we have come still surprises me

Now, I look in the mirror (look in the mirror)

Staring back is a man I used to be with you

How I longed for you

No, I won’t let go

No why we can be

I won't watch my life crashing down on me

As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh

Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind

Girl I’m sorry I was wrong

Couldn’t be there, should have been so strong

So, I’m sorry

Ohhhhhhh

No, I won’t let go

No why we can be

I won't watch my life crashing down on me

As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh

Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind (on my mind)

I won't watch my life crashing down on me

As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh

Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind

On my mind (on my mind)

He is my everything..

2009-05-23T22:26:00.003+08:00

my baby said something so sweet to me wen we were hanging out jz nw...

at the cafeteria stairs..

wad he said made me overwhelmed n i was extremely happy till it brought me to tears..

oh, only God knew how i felt wen he said it to me...

i swear...

never ever even 1 of my ex manage to say somthing so sweet n romantic to me...

till it mke me cry..

he said something like diz.. :

baby, i wanna have u in my arms like diz forever..

i never wanna lose u...

i love d feeling dat u r mine..

i never wanna let u go baby....

last nite, the whole day i didnt see u...

n i was missing u like crazy...

bt den i hv to hold it back n sacrifice for my studies..

i cnt stand it baby being far away from u knowing dat u r jz close by...

i love u baby...

n noe dat no matter wad happens...

i'll always love u..

.........

den there i started to cry bk0z of happiness...

my baby is so sweet n romantic...

he thanked me for being his everything...

he said dat i hv given him and have been everything to him...

his friend, bestfriend, girlfriend..

n he said dat i m also like a wife to him...

awwww..~ my hubby...

i love u so much....

n noe dat i will always be urs...

n u will always be mine...

forever n ever...

i promise u sweetheart...

the flame of our love will never go out..

it will only go out wen both of us r no longer breathing....

i love u my hubby...

This BITCH!!

2009-05-15T11:24:00.004+08:00

1 problem about this bitch!

this Daphne Kirstie Luma Lakai,

ic number 900702-13-8068, is dat..

when she came to noe dat she'll finally get something she wants, she sikkan dpt sabar.. hahaha..

dnt noe y..

i feel lyke slapping myslf...!! shish!!

in my heart it kept saying,

"im gonna get my BB phone!"

..............

"bt den i hv to wait till july 2nd"

..............

aarrghhh! i hate waiting....

bt den i noe 4 sure dat i'll get d phone!

wee!! fuck u daphne!! plz laa... wait baa... learn to sabar!

i cannot ehh... nyawa tok mala pk psl BB phone ya...

hahahahaahahaha

i think kan.. nang benar wad i told Baby M riya...

i sikkan tdo a week wen i get my hands on my BB phone!!

shyteeeeee!!

i love my dad~~

not bk0z he always buy me things i wnt....

ok ok ok..

a large part of it is dat.. haha...

bt den i love him coz he mkes my brothers n i happy...

he gives us the life he never had...

he gives d best to us...

n also mama.. mama gives us the best too....

i love my parents..

i love my brothers..

i love my F.A.M.I.L.Y!!

i love my soon-to-come-BB-phone...

hmmm~

i'll name my BB phone BabyBoogie..

is also BB.. hahahahahaha...

oh no..! i better stop nw.. or i'll go crazy!

c ya bloggers... love ya all! :D

i am d happiest girl in the universe!!

2009-05-10T21:20:00.003+08:00

mmm-hmm!!!

its trueeeeeeeeeee~

soon we will be together!!

oh yeah! my dad said he'll get this baby for my birthday!!

oh shyt man!! i m so freakin' happy!!

i can 1001% guarentee i am the happiest girl in the whole wide UNIVERSE!!!!!!

oh my God.. i jz cnt believe dat i'll finally get this dream phone of mine on my 19th bday!!

diz is d best gift everrrrrrr!!!

myza know how crazy i am about diz baby...

oh yeaahh~

diz feeling i hv nw is unbelieveable...

I AM SO FREAKIN' HAPPY!!!!

OH MY GOD!!

THANK U JESUS!!

AMEN... AMEN...

THANK U TO MYZA TOO C0Z SHE'S D BEST!!

SHE KEPT TELLING ME I'LL GET IT..

THANK U BABY GIRL...

LOVE U!!

n thank u Daddy...

for making my dream come truee...

i am so happy.. oh my God... i m so damn happy...

nw i cnt wait till i get it on my bday!!

oh my God!!

thnk u thnk u thnk u thnk u thnk u...

My current FAVORITE rising star!!

2009-05-08T12:04:00.002+08:00

Selena Gomez

she is my latest obsession...

oh well.. not creepy kinda obsession...

duh! i ain't a stalker or anything..

its jz dat i love her personality...

the 1st time i saw Selena was on this series on Disney Channel...

The “Wizards of Waverly Place”

even though she is a rising star now...

der is something about this girl which gvs me the feeling that she'll never change....

like other rising star, dey change immedietly wen dey r famous! pergh! i hate dat...

bt wad i admire most about Selena Gomez is dat she is sweet....

she uses her high reputation to make the world a better place...

which reminds me of the beloved late Lady Diana.. (also my inspiration)..

there is this cause she commit herself too...

where she helped to make it better for the island stray dogs of Puerto Rico...

Selena is a big animal lover...

me also as an animal lover...

i support this cause of hers.... its actually very sweet n humanly..

Selena is the ambassador for DoSomething.org...

she is trying her very best to save dogs who are brutally mistreated and killed jz for fun...

if u come to think of wad Selena is doing...

its actually the first star who is trying to change the lifes of many dogs...

dogs are men's bestfriend...

u cnt deny dat... personally, i think dat der r more to dogs than jz pets...

dey r very loyal n perfect companion...

that is y i am totally supporting Selena on this cause...

n its also because I LOVE SELENA GOMEZ!!!!

honestly, i hv never ever loved a Disney rising star like diz before!!

Selena Gomez is the first...

she is jz a total sweetheart.....

n i hope she is honored by this because, yeah...

she is the 1st Disney rising star dat i admire most!!

My current favorite SONG!! :D

2009-05-08T11:55:00.002+08:00

DEMI LOVATO

ALBUM : DON'T FORGET

"LA LA LAND"

I am confident,

but I still have my moments.

Baby, that's just me.

I'm not a supermodelI still eat McDonald's.

Baby, that's just me.

Some may say I need to be afraid

Of losing everything.

Because of where I Had my start

and where I made my name

Well everything's the same

In the la-la land machine.

Machine.

Who said I can't wear my

Converse with my dress?

Oh, baby, that's just me!

And who said

I can't be singleI have to go out and mingle

BABY, that's not me

No, no.

Some may say I need to be afraid

Of losing everything.

Because of where I

Had my start and where I made my name

Well everything's the same

In the La-la land machine.

Tell me do you feel the way I feel

'cause nothing else is real

In the la-la land appeal

[guitar]

Some may say I need to be afraid

Of losing everything.Because of where I

Had my start and where I made my name

When everything's the sameIn La-la land machine

Well, I'm not gonna changeIn the la-la land machine

Well I will stay the same

In La-la land...

Machine

I won't change anything of my life(I won't change anything of my life)

I'm staying myself tonight(I'm staying myself tonight)

La la la la la....

I just don't get it..

2009-05-07T13:39:00.003+08:00

i dnt get it sometimes.. why do some husbands always treat their wives like a slave?? u noe, its lyk wen dey r standing der at the isle, waiting to be announced husband n wife, wad is actually in der minds other that wanting to marry d women?? d reason im saying diz is bk0z after years n years of marriage.. after years n years of building a strong n solid love and family, dey decide to break out from their comfort zone, n do something wild as if dey r stil single n available! come on plz.. noe dat u r married n u hv a wife and kids... its not dat u r not allowed to hv a social life (duh!! u r not robot or wad) bt den, limit it.. bk0z u noe u hv a big responsibility.. y neglect ur responsibility? u hv made a vow and swear that u will not neglect ur wife and family... wen u realise dat u hv a wife waiting for u at home, y come back in d middle of d nite or WORST, early in the morning???? don't u think of how worried she is?? don't u noe how she feels? lets say, ur wife does diz to u.. wad will u feel?? don't dare tell me u will be relaxed about it.. plz!!! don't lie.. u'll be going out of ur mind...!! if u wanna noe hw to treat a women, try walking in der high heels.. feel wad it is lyk to wait for ur hubby to come back... do u realise dat she is worry bk0z she loves n care bout u? a true woman will always wait for her man.. doesn't matter wad u do to her, she will always love u n be patient wid all ur bullshits and crap!! bt remember 1 thing, she is also a human being wid a heart n feelings.. everyone has the limitation in patients.. wen u cross over the board and the limit, she can't bare it anymore... so, don't blame her if she goes out to mingle wid other men... it is a sin, yes... bt y blame her? who started all the bullshits?? by the time u realise that she is always around wen u nid her, and u realise dat she has always been a good wife to u, she'll be long gone! so plz, appreciate ur wives wen u hv the chance.. do it now, or forever suffer wid the guilt that hv grown inside u. PEACE!

My one n only WISHLIST! :D

2009-05-07T11:00:00.002+08:00

dammit.. THE BlackBerry Curve 8900..

how i wish i can get it for my birthday from my dad..

if i have diz smartphone, haha, i won't sleep for a week!!

i am so in love wid diz phone..

i first laid eyes on this baby in Blue Cube, Spring mall, Kuching..

addoooiihhh~

lemah nyawa doeee..!!

i want diz i want diz...

u noe wad.. u can do almost everything wid diz phone..

duh! its a smartphone, of c0urse...

the pricing here in Malaysia is like RM1500...

bt den i want it.. i am so crazy over diz phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my goodness gracious..

i MUST MUST MUST MUST have diz phonee...

i want it so badlly.. i want it sooooooooooooo damn badly...

pls pls pls pls let me hv it dady.. :(

My Everything.. :)

2009-05-06T12:40:00.003+08:00

above is the picture of me and my 2 crazy but lovely cuzzies...

Rossalini and Xavier..

dey really made my day last weekend (2/05-3/05/90)..

dey really reduce my homesickness.. bk0z i really do miss my family..

diz 2 special ppl really mke me feel lyk i am ack home..

dey remind me of my own lil brothers back homee...

i really miss their company n annoying- ness.. hehhe.. im sorry i dnt hv pictures of my aunt ween and uncle clement..

dey too really mke me feel lyk i am wid my own family.. i love dem so much.. i miss my mama.. n my dad... miss hanging out n teasing my 2 bros, nigel n nath..

i really cnt wait to go bck homee diz july.. its true wad ppl say... no matter hw annoying or notty ur bros r.. or siblings r.. no matter how much dey get onto ur nerves, u will eventually miss all d bad n notty things dey do to u... dats hw i feel ryte nw..

before, i always complain about dem annoying me.. and disturb me till i get mad..

den nw..

i m really craving for it... i miss dem shouting at me.. n hitting me wen i tease dem..

hmmmm...

i love Nigel n Nath.. dey r my everything..

dey light up my life.. dey never make my life boring.. i miss dem so badly.. :(

3rd month anni.. <3

2009-04-22T08:46:00.003+08:00

my baby boy n i

21st Janurary 2009 is d special date!

heee~ it was our 3rd month annivrsry yesterday..

we didnt do anything special.. we r gonna kp it for diz saturday..

we'll go out diz saturday to celebr8... hee~ i love him soooooo much...

we jz sat down at d stairs, me a step down and he sits at my back.. mmm~

i love d feeling dat i lay my back against his chest... :) love it wen he hugs me tight from behind...

i felt so loved and safe..

n he said dat i mean kuching to him.. shit! n i asked him.. wad bout kenya? who meant kenya to u? he said mum.. :D ok.. there i cnt arguee.. hhihihihi...

mum's' are THE BEST!! :D

i stil rmmbr d 1st time we saw each other...

hahaha.. he had jz awaken from slping...

d 1st thing i noticed bout him is his cologne! damn man!

hahaha.. it smelled sooooooooo strong...

he was my ex-bestfren's fren...

so i met him thru my ex-bestfren...

first we were friends.. den he started to call me "habibty" i start to call him "habibi" after a few days chatting on MSN.. i added him in facebook 1st.. n i dnt noe y..

dat night, i cnt stop thinking of him...

his image jz haunt my mind.. phews! maybe it was love at 1st sight...

u noe wad.. he introduced himslf as James Bond wen we 1st met.. haha.. baby... he ad0res James Bond movies and cowboys.. hihihi.. silly hubby...

wad i hope for is dat his silliness will nvr go away..

c0z i fall in love wid him coz of his fun and silly personality...

he is able to mke me laugh n smileee... he mks jokes out of anything... haha..

Love Letter to my baby,

he lights up my life jz by looking into each others eyes...

i love Abdalla Salim so much...

he is my world, my universe...

happy 3rd month anniversary my lovee....

may our love bloom more and will nvr wilt....

muah muah muah

Love ur applepie ;),

Daphne Kirstie Luma

h3py tree friends! naaa... jz kiddin'! hepy sunday! hehe

2009-04-19T22:34:00.007+08:00

wad a sunday.. wow wow wow...

woke up at around 234pm... haha.. nice numbers huh? oh well...

u noe y i woke up at dat time? haha.. i slept lyk around 6am diz morning...

haha.. it has been long since i slept at 5 or 6am.. hohoho... oh yaa!

i finallly bought my Converse All Star shoes! iicckk!! hubby bought it for me yesterday! weee!!

thnk u my loveee... i love u soo much.. mama said dat hubby is jz spoiling me.. hihi.. bt he loves me... n i love him sooooooooo much....

my new shoes.. hot hot hot bebeh!!

he bought it for me lyk rm239!

hahaha.. dats y mama said dat he is spoiling me.. heeeee~ mama lyks d fact dat he is my bf.. coz he is super duper sweetiee piee.... i love him love him love him...

i love everything he does 4 me.. bt den not all rltnshps are perfect... we also hv fights smetms bt we 4gve each other n move on... :)

today we went to spring.. to buy groceries... we r trying to save money for when we r in miri diz july.. 1 month holiday man... haha.. so we r not gonna go shopping for our "DESIRES" till july, jz for basic needs.. oh well.. its okey.. :) i hv no problm wid it.. hohoho.. we share our money.. equally.. wen my money cmes 1st, we use my money.. wen his money comes, we use his.. its lyk we budget rm800 for a month.. rm200 for shopping.. XD cool huh? i hope dat we'll b 2thr 4ever.. i always pray for our rltnshp so it last.. i really love diz man of mine.. he is all in 1.. he is my everything... i love u my sweetheart... muah..!

my silly hubby n i...

love him soooooooooo much!! :-*

goin CAT CRAZY!

2009-04-18T18:33:00.002+08:00

my blackie ching n i.. aww~ too bad he is not rlly seen in diz photo.. bt den i love him! :D

u noe 1 thing bout me?

hahahahahaa.. i sooooo love cats... to me cats r d most adorable creatures in d whole wide world! dey r cute! cuddly! fluffy! silly! hehe.. dey can be anything.. no matter wad colour or shape dey are, cats r always n i mean always cuteee! to me cats hv diz lyk mysterious n curiousity in dem.. jz by lookin' at d way dey move about.. d way dey look at new things... dey look soooo interested in it.. n excited..! 1 more thing i love bout cats is dat dey r sooo "manjak".. i dnt noe wat manjak is in english.. haha.. sorry.. manjak is lyk.. ok ok.. maybe smehw lyk spoiled! hehe.. kitties r cutee... even wen dey r still kittens or alrdy adult cats, dey r forever cutteeeee! unlike dogs.. some dogs.. i didnt say all.. well, i only love puppies! guilty! huhu.. i dnt lyk it wen dey get huge and sloppy! hihi.. hw i wish puppies can stay as puppies! so dats y i love cats.. dey r forever small.. n dey r clean.. i can bring dem in d house n slp wid dem on d same bed.. hee.. i alwys bring my kitty slping wid me.. MR BLACKIE CHING.. heee... wait wait.. i'll put a picture of him.. it'll appear on top! i lovvveeee my blackie ching.. he is a vry special cat.. :)

wad a lame saturday!~ pergh.. bored kitty!

2009-04-18T18:18:00.002+08:00

yyyeeeaaaaaappp!~ dat explains hw i feel rite nw... hohohoho.. merry xmass! pergh.. im bored bored bored as hell.. even nw maths klaz is fun.. wad a boring saturday.. hey, speaking of maths... d math test 1 was ok lah diz morning... was not so hard.. well.. i think coz i studied a lil bit.. if i dnt, shyt man.. i'll suffer lyk shit jz by lookin' at d questions.. hmm.. i m so bored.. tak jadi go watch movie 2nytee.. myza went back to her village i think.. mmm.. 1 of her relative died.. im so sorry bout dat baby.. perghh! i called carol jz nw.. she's at her bro-in-law's hse near spring.. i wish i can c her nw.. i mean.. its been long since we hang out togthr... i miss hanging out wid jue n carol.. eventho we hv conflict sometym wid each other, we stil r bestfrens nw n 4ever... its been lyk 6 yrs we've been friends... :) its nice to noe dat u still hv friends, i mean bestfriends around u.. i love dem so much.. n 1 of my new bestfren nw is baby myza!~ hehe.. myza welcme to the club.. myza she undrstnds me a lot.. same as hw julia understnds me.. :) myza she's lyk my lil sis... n also cynthia... :) its gud to noe dat sme1 needs u in a way.. n i love caring 4 dem.. i dnt noe y.. bt sayyyyaaaaaang gilak ngan cdak duak tok... lyk my own sis... sweetie sweetie pie... :D

cute! everywer we go, we must be sama 1... hehe.. air kongsi, kdg2 makan pun mun sorg mkn, nang nok duak ya akan mintak.. sapa2 jak la.. bt its fun.. best ada frens sama palak.. c0z dey dnt judge or critisize u.. dey jz support u... n den if its wrong, dey tell u.. to show dat dey care.. dats d kind of friends dat i wnt n suppose to hv.. :)

i love my bestbuddies so much...

julia, carol, myza, cynthia. :)

girlfrens forever...

hoho.. skema juakk ehhh... bt who "dares"..! hahaha...

i miss bik.. my couz.. she's lyk d craziest cuzzy of all century.. haha... i wish i was home...

i miss my family so much... especially my own crazy family.. :D

i miss blackie.. bernard.. hmmm... hw is my turtle, Puluk doin? is he stil alive or has RIP??

erghh... poor turtiee~ bt den.. i miss hugging blackieee... hmmm............

woohhoo!!~

2009-04-17T16:32:00.004+08:00

hahaha.. ukan apa title camyaa... sikda idea mok engkah title apa...

hmm hmmm hmmmmmm......

u noe wad?? adeih adeih... ingatkan got presentation today..! faster2 i do my slides.. n my report.. ceyhh! skali go to klaz.. presentation on Tuesday next week! hohoho.... i was lyk wad da $%$#%%^! :D woohhooo.... we went to town n cupcake got his money from his parents today..! woohhooo!~ so he bought my paints alrdy from popular... my fav brand.. BUNCHO! idup BUNCHO! woohhooo!~ n a palette to put the paints in.. woohhoo!!~ it was in TunJugah.. myza came along... but den i hvnt got my brushes.. not much sizes at popular.. so i m looking forward to go to Techno Graphic to buy my brushes... but den wer? ooooo!~ Qian jz msged myza back n say dat its somewer in Satok.. hmmmmm... Satok? myza wer aaa?? im not Kch-an :D hopefully we'll buy my brushes soooon~ i m soooo eager to do some artwork in context and culture.. it has been long since i painted anything.. the last time was wen i was in form 5.. hahaha.. spm course work! hihihi.. n dats it.. bt den.. we made batik.. something lyk batik.. it was so cool.. i loved it.. 1st we draw on a canvas or any white cloth, den draw the patterns using melted wax... den wen its all done.. wen all the patterns has been drawn, use d brush n brush on some water onto d cloth b4 painting it wid paint.. it was sooooo cool! i hope i hv d chance to do it again... fun fun fun! i love art.... i feel sooo excited wen it comes to artworks...

it doesnt matter if its making a dolphin out of soap or plaster of paris...

drawing abstract or paint something on a canvas..

i love love love love love art...

wooohhoooo!!~

hey, i think i noe y i put the title dat way...

hahaha.. coz today i feel supperr lykk.. WOOHOO!!~

hahahahahha... i dnt noe y.. maybe c0z im stressed out.. 2mrrw is maths test 1... eerghh...

i hope d questions r not dat hard... mmmmm....... i hv to pass it.. i have too....

help help help help... pray for me to pass c0z my head pumps lyk hell studying maths...

den tonite i hv hostel new residents welcoming party!

we r forced to go...

u noe y i say dat????

coz der is diz notice on the hostel lobby door... dat says :

Failure to attend the party, please write a letter of excuse to the warden.

i was lyk.. say wad?????? diz is a first.. wow.. force party?? cool... so not!

hmm.. fine den.. i'll go... go to the party by force... hahaha... orrr..........

i jz dnt go? hmm.. i feel lazy to go... i hv exam 2mrrw n i nid to study... 7pm - 9pm...

hmmmm... test 1 maths.. dats all dats on my mind...

perghhh!~

OH YA!! i almost forgot... hahahahahahaha.. diz is something vry funny! hahahah....

wen we were at Popular Tun Jugah jz nw.. hahaha.... smthing silly happend...

woohhoo!!~

myza was helping me choose the size of d brushes.. i was standing beside her.. n my baby was standing beside me... den we were quiet... hahahah... sddnly.. i smelled smthing bad from out of the bluee.. hahhaa... den i saw myza's expression.. she started to sniff somthing.. her face was damn funny man! den i looked at him and asked him... "did u fart?" den he jz smiled... den we started laughing... myza n i jz ran away from him and cnt stop laughing! hahahaha.. bodo eh.. calieeeee! adoih adoih.. bertuah punya balak! :D

Another Saturday in Swinburne.. shiyet!

2009-04-11T22:29:00.003+08:00

hurmm... how i wish i hv a car... not much laaa.. viva pun jadi la pok! i dnt noe.. was it yesterday evening or wen hubby n i went to spring just to waste time walking around... there was a car exhibition.. perodua n hyundai... perodua was showing off viva and myvi.. wow! i wanted d viva! its lyk rm43 000++.. i dnt noe hw exact d price was.. hubby told me dat i can get the viva using loan.. n paying rm300 a month... he asked me to ask daddy bout it.. haha.. wen i asked.. till today he didnt reply me.. hahahaha.. i think i noe y he didnt reply me.. :D huhuhu.. daddy.. daddy.. vry calculative bout money.. who can blame him.. he is an accountant for his company! ooh well.. i'll get a car soon! if he dnt wanna buy me a car, give me the honda loorrr.... mine baa! :( i want car!

susah ba jln no car here in kch.. adeyh adeyhh....

hmmm.. today start off okey i guess... woke up around 3pm.. hahaha.. nice kan? dnt be suprised, all the girls in diz hostel wke up in d evening...

including boys!! boys pa gik laa... tdo awal pagi, 5 6 am...

den wake up in d late evening...

hahah.. hostel life is fun! but den, missing d family mucho..

hmmm.. saturday nite spent kejap wid my hubby tek..

i ate nasi ayam smthing smthing d name.. cnt rmmbr... n drank air suam swinburne!

keh keh keh.. water in swinburne bottle laa...

heeee~ 80cnts jak.. not dat expensive kira ok...

hmmm... i rlly wnt to go to gym... i feel so fuckin' FAT!!!!

dammit! bt den hubby told me i cnt pay in d middle of d month...

nid to pay awal bulan!

aiyaaakkkk means in may la i go gym.. shiiyyeeett!!

nid to lose weight ooo... very obese!! gila eyhh!

n i m vry worry bout my innovation n change ASSinmen! hmmm....

dat girl stil hv it.. eh no.. she dnt hv it.. she gave it to her fren.. n asked her to give it to me diz friday tek..

bt den nya sik berik...

paloi eyh! eeee! geram ati baaa... bodo.. kimak juak eyh!

ishhh.. sial nak mampus baa...

dah la due diz 16th april...

adoi adoi.. i hv only skit masa to re-do it again b4 passing it up next thursday!

shitt!!!!

i hate diz.. dah la hubby manas wid me wen i told him i lend my paper to dat girl..

he shouted at me wen i told him.. he was vry pissed!

i m soooo damn stupid la to lend it to her! shit.. i hope she doesnt copy my work.. if she does..

im doomed!! i will fail my assignment.. 20% u!! sial eyh!

i cant afford to fail it now!! right at d beginning dah fail! adooohhhhh!!

pls pls pls pls hope nothing happens!

hmm...

saturday niteeee~ borinnggg

my hubby went to watch futbol tek...

at 730pm.. n he said he'll be bck at 1130pm...

facebook wid bunny jz nw...

she's watching cinderella!

weee!~ im watching snow white!

we L.O.V.E disney princesses...

sik kira la brapa tuaa kita tok...

me i stil loveeee cartoons!! especially disney cartoons.. cool to d max man! :D hahaha...

ngek ngok ngikk ngakk!

i miss baby n bunny laaa~

hmm hmm hmmmm~

dey r d best aiee...

tetak sama.. minum sama.. makan sama.. hahaha.. best frens u can ask for!

palak sama mun cetaa... especially me n myza.. tetak dr siang ke mlm.. adoi adoi.. gila kejaa..

nang bising jak laa cafeteria if we 2 ceta2.. lam kelas pun.. sik perlu lah dok sama..

asal jak nangga muka masing2.. hahaha.. ada2 jak... silly willy... :D

i cnt wait diz monday to c dem...

oh ya..! cnt 4get my elianto Thistle nail polish...

bunny wanna try it on!

weeee!~ we girls lovvveeeee nail polish! ohh yeaaa!!~

hohoho.. crazey!

mmmm..... note in history!! today i chat wid Apis! my ex maa... d other day he treat me lyk shit.. saying he bz laaa... he kenot layan me! shit... bt nw he is sorry.. he wil tebus his keslhan.. ya ya ya!~ men will be men...

k la... chow l0k kek..!~ wanna continue watching my snow white movie n download it to RealPlayer!~

toodles ppl!~ muah muah!

my family cmes 1st n i love dem

2009-04-09T22:20:00.012+08:00

my family n i.. d reason for everything i m still here.. i love dem..

the king of d house! Mr Lakai.. heee~ he is d man dat make evrything happens!

my mama.. mdm selena.. i love her so much.. n i miss her lyk crazy!! :(

my lil bro after me.. mr nigel parril lakai.. d fashionista in d family.. he is so high taste.. vry syg n soft wid kids n ppl he love bt den if i kiss or hug him, he'll kick me.. he is big! :D bt den i love his bigness.. i miss

him..

my lil bro.. mr nathaniel imang lakai... d youngest, d guitarist and d most most manjakkk 1 in my family.. i love calling him sweetchicks and i love kissing him on d cheeks eventho he'll beat me up evrytime i do it.. haha

the king n queen of my heart..

ove dem sooooooooo much...

n i miss dem.. d reason why i m stil alive n stil breathing the air for 19 yrs nw! :D

my two silly sweetchicks! i love dem.. bt den if i kiss dem.. n tell dem i love dem.. dey'll say i m GAY! :D n dey will chase me n hit me.. bt den i miss dem hitting me for kissing dem.. hehehehe..

nathaniel, my daddy, my mama n nigel.. love dem so much...

today is the 9th of April.. hmm.. mama's bday.. n damn today i feel so down.. not today only actually... diz few days... ive been missing homee.. n ive been getting mad at everyone who is close to me, my hubby... hmmm... i m jz stress out.. there is so many things running thru my mind.. uni life, peers, assignmnts, my love life, my family back home..

wad i miss more is my family...

mama most of all...

granddad and blackiee and everybody...

mama im sorry i cnt be home for ur bday....

i love u mama...

i wish i was home 2nyte celebrating her bday wid her....

i miss everybody...

fuuhhhh!!

my mama..

my head is pumping so hard now...

i called dem jz now.. talked to mama.. talked to my granddad.. talked to my aunt ina.. asking bout baby fidelis... almost forgot dat he ever existed.. haha.. bt i really cnt 4get c0z i was d 2nd 1 to name baby fideliss... i talked to imang... got to joke around wid him 4 awhlee... aunty evaa.. saying hye to everyonee.. including my ex-bf in form 3 who is now my c0usin's cousin.. haha... well... den i talked to daddy... wen i start talking to daddy... i started feeling wanna cry... i dnt noe y.. it seems lyk i miss him more than i miss mama.. bt den.. i m not vry close to him at all.. i think its bk0z i hvnt talked or smsed him 4 long.. i feel bad jz msging him wen i nid money.. hmm.. wad a bad daughter i m being.. bt mama always say dat it isnt my fault.... i dnt noe wad she meant by dat.. haha.. or maybe c0z daddy is not really around n close to my brothers n i..

hmmm...

how i wish i m home rite nw....

i m sooooooo much jealous dat i am not home..

mama told me dat everyone is missing me n talking bout me...

:) dey seem to miss my presents... i miss dem too... all of dem...

u noe wad.. being away from my family makes me appreciate dem more n mke me realise dat family always comes first in my all most important list...

family are the ones who r always around wen u nid dem...

dey will never let u down or leave u wen u r in bad conditions...

bad or gud.. dey r always der to help u up n support u wen d world is looking down at u..

hmmmm... my family... i miss dem soooooo much.... n i love dem so much...

1st Day of The Month of April..! :D

2009-04-01T08:30:00.002+08:00

morning morning morning.. its Wednesday ppl..~ hw r u 2day?? hw r d wife n kids?? hahaha... wow! can u imagine dat! nw its been lyk 3 months im in swinburne.. n lots of things has happened... from assignments and to friends also.. trouble trouble trouble! wait! i m not saying dat friends are troublee... i m jz saying dat its hard to kp a gud friendship if u r not considerate n no understanding.. had a vry huge fight or may i say arguement wid one of my beloved galfren last 2 days.. n it made me cry 4 almost 2 hours! dammit! i m soooooooooooooooooo sorry bout wad hppn... wad i hate d most is hurt my friends.. i feel so damn guilty! but i hope things will turn out ok soon.. i miss her..

ok ok ok...

no sadness in d morning pweety pwease!

i m jz starting my day so its not gud..!

*sigh*

stomach status : hungry n thirsty!

mood : 50% happy 50% undefine! shit

i m actually pissed wid him...

ada ka ptt nya tertido balit...

adoi adoi..

dah la lewaaaaatt~!

ish ish ishhh!!!

geram hati eyhhh!

ok ok ooookkeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy!!

fuuhhh!!~

relax relax

awal pagi tok babeee.. not vry gud.. brp kali dah mek padah tok...

myza oh myzaa.. spt biasaa... geng keras swinburne.. dari matahari terbit ke matahari berderoookkk tidooo nang tetaaak jak la keja mek duaak! huihuiiihh... best best!!

lam kelas nektok! seeejok lalu eh.. nasib juak mek pakey sweater! wee!! sik juak sejok gilaakk...

mun sik beku... dah la tgh cold shoulde ngan heater mek! waaa! jaik baaa!!! sapa suruh nya tido agik.. org suruh bgn.. sik bgn.. tdo gik.. dah la lewat lalu! kan pagi pagi mek mok bah look at his face b4 i do anything.. look at him smiling at me n gv me a morning kiss on my hand! ishhh! ada gik nya dtg gi kelas mek tek.. dtg agak! biarnya.. mek sik nangga nya kat luar.. mek halau nyaa.. shhuhh! i m in klaz la sayang! dnt dsturb.. i gave u time from 8am till i masuk kelas.. u lambat.. rasain loo...

dah la mek lapar tok.. haus gik.. eee.. macam2.. mok berak gik mek tok.. mok gi toilet.. apa ka! euw!! myza!! mek mok beraakkk! p mok kencing juak! adeyh.. so many technical problems! adeyh adeyh... help me!! nei lecturer tok.. mek mok gi toilet.. bleh ka kuar jak?? p takut juak.. lvl 5 tok.. ada sik toilet bgs ooo... eeuuwww! mun sikpat pam air! euw! euw! euw! cidaak eyh.. ish.. ya nya! cidak eh klaka sal berak n air n euw! aaaaa... i wanna go to the toilet... pls pls pls.. jap.. nyk lecturer lok.. leh sik.. brb ya!!~

fuhh! legaaa! hahaha.. mun myza baca tok nang tetaak cam apa...

cukup la tok dolok....

to0dlesss!!~

Homesick :(

2009-01-08T14:54:00.000+08:00

Here i sit alone
So much in my mind n heart
Beside a wide open window
The sun shining through
The birds chirping n singing
How i missed home

The sound of laughter
The boys running here n there
Wrestling and teasing each other
Oh, how i missed the times
When they annoy me
And made me mad

The aroma of mama's kitchen
Homemade cookings
Smell of liquour spills on the counter
The smell smoke and food in my hair
Mama's high tone
When she ask for a hand

His fur and paws
So cute and adorable
Missing his touch and his gesture
The smell of his paw and his big yellow eyes
His meow asking for attention
and his meow asking for food

The man of the house
The man who makes everything happen
Trying hard to make us all happy
Who gave us such luxury
Who gave us a comfortable home
He is my daddy, head of this family

I am here alone
In another part of the country
Never been away from home
Now i realise wad is important to me
My beautiful family and my home sweet home
And now i realise i wanna go home :(

7 Jan 2009

She's Just a Girl

2008-12-06T00:49:00.000+08:00

U probably wondering who this girl is,
She is the girl of ur dreams,
She is the girl in ur nightmares,
She's this girl that makes u wonder,

U wanna know more bout her,
She's the girl u never get,
Just quite wad u see,
She's just a girl,

She's the girl thats ur angel,
She gives u a warm feeling that makes u smile,
She's a sweetheart wen u treat her right,
She's caring wen u need a pal,

Don't take advantage of her,
She can be very mean,
As she can be very sweet,
So watch out,

She's the girl that makes u regret,
She curses when u tick her off,
She can be a hurricane wen u treat her bad,
She's just human with feelings,

Love her as she will love u more,
Be her angel as she will be ur saint,
Treat her like a queen as she will treat u like her world,
Be a sweetheart as she will give u everything,

She's sweet but bites wen u r mean,
She's adorable but ugly wen ur a jerk,
She's an angel but a devil wen ur treating her like hell,
She's just human with feelings and born wid flaws.

My Definition Of Life

2008-12-06T00:48:00.000+08:00

Laying down beside my bunny,
Pulling up my blanky up to my chin,
Staring at the black red alarm clock,
Ticking and wondering wad will my future be like,

Waking up to the bright sun,
Shining brightly against my face,
Will my future be this bright?
Will i finally have wad i wished for?

So many questions in my head,
Wondering who might have the answers,
Trying to find the missing pieces,
To the puzzles in this crosswords,

Day dreaming of my perfect life will be,
Wid a well paid job,
A chic looking car,
Living in a cozy big condo,

Looking down the road,
A path where my future starts,
Not an easy yellow brick path,
Its reality baby, plan it right,

Screwing up here and there,
Mistakes lurking up in everywhere,
Makes me learn that life isn't perfect,
Its up to us to fix it and make it better,

Like learning to ride a bicycle.
Like learning to read ABCs,
Everything starts somewhere,
It just need some pushing and determination,

Failing doesnt mean failing forever,
Get up on ur feet and march up,
Reach for wad u dream,
Dont come back till u grab hold of it,

Its not wrong to dream,
It starts somewhere and might come true,
Future is planned when u started breathing,
So plan ur future by starting off wid the right foot.

To My Besty, Julia

2008-12-05T18:26:00.002+08:00

We were pals since kindies,
Hand in hand while eating candies,
Me with my pony tails,
U with your bangs,

Shared an ice cream sundae,
Remember when u spilt choc on me thet day?
U were terrified,
But i just laughed and it made u feel alright,

I would give the world to see u smile,
I don't care even just for a while,
I'd kick the ass of people who tease you,
Don't u get it i do care for you,

We sweared on our teddies names,
We'd be BFF's forever and ever,
Even some friends thought it was lame,
Still we are still together,

This is to you my dear besty,
My bestfriend in the whole wide world,
Having u in my life makes me happy,
Eventhough i hate it when u love purple.. :D

To all the men who has been in my life..

2008-12-05T18:13:00.004+08:00

This world was about games,
U came along,
U taught me wad love is,
U were my first,

We started off friends,
Everything went great,
U make me see a different side of you,
U make me a different person,

U bring me flowers,
U wrote me poems,
U sang me a song,
Everything was U n I,

U took my hand,
Kissed it and stare into my eyes,
U kissed my lips,
I felt like i would die,

This i present to yous,
Who had been in my life,
Changing it in different ways,
Thank you i bid to yous,

Even things doesn't work out,
I am still the inside,
Maybe not as ur baby,
No harm if we're just buddies..

An Inspiration

2008-12-05T17:57:00.004+08:00

wad is love my love,
tell me do you know?
to me is dirt and blood and seed,
dats how my garden grows,

wad is diz pain inside,
my vein has turn to frost,
is there an operation please,
and how much does it cost?

this love is a, scary love,

if i had one day left to live,
i'd lock the doors and windows,
but keep u in,
if i had one day left to live,
i'd wrap myself around you,
and breathe u in,

wad is love my love?
tell me why it burns,
like rage and fire inside me,
but it causes no concern,

i am used to it,
wid ashes in my hands,
at least i felt the pain of love,
but no one understands.

this love is a, scary love,

like a crow in a place of doves,
like clinch fist in a velvet gloves,
like train running over us,
like being nailed to the cross...

Original writer : Skye Sweetnam
Title : Scary Love

To Mama...

2008-12-04T21:35:00.003+08:00

i saw a bright light,
in a dark alley,
i walked through it,
finally found what ive been lookin' for,

i saw a bright light,
in an angel's eyes,
she showed me the way,
i followed my heart,

i saw a bright light,
i know i was never lost,
i know you were always there,
in grief and in joy,

mama u are my angel,
u thought me life,
u thought me love,
u thought me to grow,

u wiped my tears,
u sang me a lulaby,
u made me feel warm,
i fall asleep in ur arms,

mama i ask for forgiveness,
for all the pain i caused you,
for all the tear i made u cry,
im sorry mama, i really am,

i'll always be your little girl,
but im keeping my lil bunny,
to remind me of home,
so i'll never get lonely,

so long mama,
i am off to set my future,
i'll keep all my promises,
i'll be home for christmas in december.

Perfect Body Image

2008-12-04T20:52:00.004+08:00

diet pills and surgery,
throwing up and ending up with bulimia,
looking like sticks,
ending up with only bones and skins,

hey gorgeous babes,
so what if he doesn't want you cause you're thick,
thick, round, big and voluptuous,
we are sexy!

time glass,
coca cola bottle,
don't we want a body like that?
reject and say no to a broom stick,

ladies,
you are gorgeous the way you are,
like a comfy sofa,
wid extra cushions,

we're only human,
seperated by our thoughts,
love yourself,
before letting someone love you,

big is beautiful,
no point going under the knife,
what for the lipo SUCKs-tion,
whoops! did i get that spelling right?

don't waste your money,
on diet pills and surgery,
get out and get some fresh air,
go for a jog and pump that heart,

live a happy life,
care less bout what those bad mouth,
care and love your body,
you are one gorgeous time glass.

Daddy, please...

2008-12-04T14:36:00.003+08:00

Sitting by the window,
Watching the rain pourin' down,
The birds flying back to their nests,
Keeping their babies safe and warm,

Do i ever feel safe?
Do i ever feel loved?
Tell me daddy,
Do you love me?

Education and shelter and needs,
Yes, u've given me,
I wish u thank you,
But have u ever listen?

Growing up wid u,
Tried to express me,
But u never listen,
Makes me mute and confused,

Jealousy lurks,
Peers and their dads,
Close as twins,
So insync,

Daddy, please hear me once,
I want your attention,
I want you to listen,
Hear me out,

Enough wealth,
Enough luxury,
I want you to be around,
For the sake of my brothers..

Our Obsession

2008-12-04T14:27:00.003+08:00

u r my sweetiepie,
u r my cute lil muffin,
u r my sweet chick,
u r my obsession,

u drive every being crazy,
u drive me crazy,
wid ur long black hair,
and big cute eyes,

ur cute gesture,
ur adorable face,
ur chubby features,
juz make me go insane,

i'll carress ur hair,
play wid your nose,
tease ur tail,
kiss ur cheek,

u r our obsession Mr Blackie,
a family beloved kitty cat,
how we love u so much,
eventhough now,
u only have 3 legs...

that dimple on your left cheek...

2008-12-03T01:23:00.005+08:00

back in November 31st 2007,
i never knew i could be this happy,
i never knew i coud be so crazy,
one look at you,
i know,
i'll fall for you,

u dedicate me songs,
telling me,
how u really feel about me,
mesmerize me with your smile,
that dimple on your left cheek,
u just make me fall head over heels for you,

told me u loved me,
told me u miss me,
told me im the 1st thing on your mind,
u made me feel so crazy bout u,
can't hold back this feeling,
i have to have u in my arms,

u grab my hand,
u kept them warm through the evening,
u gave me our first kiss,
i felt butterflies in my tummy,
felt like i was floating in mid air,
oh, how i wish the evening would last,

u told me this,
it was the happiest day of your life,
to me u are my universe,
i never wanted to lose you,
i never wanted to let you go,
but u weren't meant to be mine,

we drifted away,
we lose grip of this love,
this love that never had a chance to bloom,
moved on with my life,
but can't seem to forget you,
n ur song...